Musings : You can choose to be like them or not to be like them


You are surrounded by people of various types in their emotional, mental and ethical mindsets. You are exposed to such varied ideologies, experiences and encounters everyday in your life. You can either become like them or choose to be different.

Early on some of the strongest influencers in your life are your parents and family. You almost become like a replica of them in your behaviour and mannerism. You have your personal identity as you become a combination of various influences and some influence more than the others.

Negativity has some kind of charm that it induces smoothly than anything else.

But as you grow in your life and become adept with language, reading, interactions, communication and commute, you develop certain sense of reasoning and thinking. During this time you are faced with a contradiction of thoughts based on what you face in your everyday life. You go into a state of dilemma with very little things and sometimes very important stuff. Let’s see some encounters that happen frequently and various responses to them based on someones attitude towards it.

Use of foul language. Many families avoid use of foul language in normal circumstances but in grim situations they loose their control and calm. They end up using bad language with abusive words and bad phrases. Often cursing each other in act and notion. Also if such situations are avoided or absent completely, the next challenge that comes up is when a kid is exposed to neighborhood and schools. By coming in face with the people in the surroundings and the kids in the vicinity often some kids mimic them and get influenced strongly. It is often seen that a kid comes home by learning some new word often very foul and demeaning. Negativity has some kind of charm that it induces smoothly than anything else.

You can either be like them or be like yourself.

A choice to make. As the kid is put into certain condition and goes through various moral stories and lessons in life, books and bed stories, he/she is confronted by life with a dilemma of expression. By constant exposure to a certain lifestyle, some may not even realise what is the difference compared to other forms of life. But someday as the kid grows, there comes a point to feel, think and contemplate. Based on previous encounters, personal learnings and exposures there comes a time to formulate a consistent belief system about self and how one would behave in life and circumstances. The kid can make a choice to either incorporate foul language in his everyday use or based on certain groups or try not to use it as much as it is not needed or completely oppose the use of it.

There are many situations in life that are similar to the above mentioned one. We as humans are faced with social, emotional, economical, ethical and moral situations in life. Our default opinion can lean towards what everyone is doing around us or we can contemplate and arrive at a conclusion based on our own thoughts and idealogies which may be similar to the existing situation or completely opposite of it. This can happen in following many traditions and rituals at home, neighborhood, events, occasions and festivals. This can happen at work while working with a group of people on some project. This can happen in neighborhood when deciding certain norms for the colony or when coming together for certain cause, occasion or event. This can happen during travel around the country and world. This can happen when you visit someone’s house. You can either be like them or be like yourself.

Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.

Rabindranath Tagore

The nexus of superstitions. In every culture there are some stories, rituals, situations and encounters which are with no logical explanation. There might have been some in the past but in the present no one seems to be having any idea about why something is done in a particular fashion and what for exactly. There may be a reasoning about the benefits it brings but there certainly isn’t any relevance on how it will add up. But people face situations, they face difficulties, the go through tough circumstances in life and they see no way out only to be trying whatever options they have. Superstitions are part of our life in one way or the other. Sometimes very grim sometimes very subtle. There are self developed theories by individuals, families, localities, villages and communities. Those which do no harm to anyone are not of a concern as much as those who harm someone and most often a large group of people. The harm is subtle it is not involving any kind of direct pain, but it is a slow poison that becomes a part of their life without them realising the ill-effects of it. When presented with certain superstition, it often comes as a dilemma to either follow it, reason it or oppose it. In such situations you can often choose to be like them or not to be like them.

Everyday is an encounter in the beginning. Other situations like cultural influences, rituals, traditions, economical moves, fashion and lifestyle, choices about education, stay, investment, food choices and many other things are where you can make a choice. You may not be in absolute power to often influence others or bring about a change but you certainly can form your own opinion and focus on transforming your own life.


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