Category Archives: Musings

Why every girl deserves a fair chance to stand on her feet

When I meet parents of a young girl who want their daughter to complete her education and get married by the age of 18 so they can feel fulfilled about their responsibility in life, I feel sad and disappointed by their views on life. They are ready to spend 10-20 lakhs on her marriage and dowry but they cannot send her to a better school nor provide her with extra facilities that may help her secure good grades or acquire skills that may help her become something in her life. And there is no question of support in case the girl wants to become something unconventional like singer, dancer, painter or likewise. Even those who have big dreams of professional life aligned with academics are not given a fair chance to prove their worth.

If you do not let them get a fair chance to do what they possibly can you are jeopardizing their entire life into a cyclic loop of compromise and confusion.

Everytime you say a girl to clean the house because that is what you believe she is going to do her entire life, you are making one of the biggest mistakes of your life.

Everytime you expect a girl to believe that it’s her responsibility to take care of family, have kids and nurture them and there is nothing more to her life, you are causing more damage than good.

Everytime you tell her to not have dreams and just follow the cycle of life, you are pulling back an entire kin to be lost about life.

So wake from your false narration and weakness. If you do not have what it takes to give them the leverage to explore life and become something, what you can possibly do is at least support her until she can stand on her feet and prove that she can do it.

If you cannot give something than you have no right to revoke anything, including her future and dreams.

So believe in her and believe in yourself. In the days things turn tough and difficult, hold on until the good times come. Make every possible attempt to give equal and open fair chance to every girl and the world will slowly become a better place. You will be liberated from your from your bondages and give her freedom to live in this world with confidence and openness.

Be considerate during this tough times

Continuous lockdown or lockdown like situation has impacted a lot of us in ways we have never been trained for. We do not have the slightest of experience where in everyone we know is going through it. The scale at which the experience of a virus going around in life as well the sheer response of stopping everything has toppled the fundamental fabric of our society. The response has been demanding and it has taken a long term impact on every common person out there.

Usually the people who are in any particular situation be it natural disasters, wars or any kind of unrest, it is limited to a particular state, country or the continent. But when something becomes a norm for everyone due to things like global crisis or pandemics, things are often unprecedented for those who are experiencing for the first time.

In any war, there are calms between storms. There will be days when we lose faith. Days when our allies turn against us…but the day will never come that we forsake this planet and it’s people.

Optimus Prime

So when you meet people complaining about their health or their surrounding be considerate to them. It is not a usual time.

When you meet people complaining about their work or imbalance in life, be considerate to them. Wait for things to ease down.

When you find people worried about future, try to talk about something that makes people feel better and avoid thinking too much about the future. The need to the time is to be moving towards simpler life, at least for the time being.

The constant demand of trying to do something or excel might toss off few individuals or group, be considerate to them.

Because all the things that we did to make us happy, free, relaxing and feel pleasant have been revoked from us. So naturally all the drift of time is pulling us down bit by bit until everyone is experiencing the curve in the fabric of our social life. It may be demanding. It may feel that things are slipping by. But some of us must start to hold on to something strong. Since we cannot go out and do things we used to, we may have to adapt to new things or very old things that we are not doing anymore.

Try to take a look at old photographs of your families, events or marriages.

Eat whatever is available in your vicinity. Try to balance out simple food with basic ingredients. Try some new recipe. Eat together and enjoy sharing time.

Watch your favorite shows or movies together with family. Revive all the good times that you had.

Arrange to play games that can be managed at home. If you would like or relax.

If someone is not well, take care of them. Provide healthy food and drink ample water.

If you have to meet someone who stays far off, try to arrange a video call and talk peacefully. Things may seem a bit odd but then the way to go forward is so.

Write if you may. Paint if you like. Play if you wish. Cook if that connects you. Feel good about yourself with whatever that makes you feel better. Do not send out too much negative vibes and for that matter even good vibes. Try to keep life simple and wait for the things to settle down

If you know someone who needs help, then try to get them help in whichever way you can. Make a call if that’s what it takes. Speak nicely to people whom you know and share their emotions.

Try to talk about staying at home as much as possible because the people we know or the people in our life are not aware of the way to go forward. If you feel too much stuck, try to do indoor activites. Arrange for yoga or similar activities.

There are days we are weak and we may feel that we need help, but in time we will learn that we need to try things slowly at our end and help will arrive in whichever form it can.

So my dear fellow Earthling, even though the times are tough and the difficulties doesn’t seem to get any less, believe in yourself and navigate through these times. Together we will reach into the world of better times. We will all thrive and smile soon, for we are fighters. Brave men have shown us examples of fighting through similar times and by remembering them, we will advance ahead into building a safe world in ways each one of us contribute and participate.

Stay safe and be happy in whichever little ways you can. I send out my affection and warmth to all of you. Take care.

How history has always been recruiting skills and talents

Back in the days of kings and kingdoms, there used to be courts and courtyards. Those were not courts like the legal courts we have today. They were more like a one-stop-point for people in the kingdom to come about to find solutions to problems, to showcase talent, skills, art and to find justice were some of the major things done.

One peculiar offering of such courts was the display of skills and talent before the king and courtiers. By showcasing some skill they have practiced for years, they impress the king and get price in form of gold, jewels, ornaments or other offering based on how moving and fine the skill is acquired. If it is of use to the kingdom then such skillmen would be recruited in the particular area under the kingdom to serve for the king in return of goods, place to stay and constant pay.

Similarly people who had nothing to show but display their rigor for language, wisdom and understanding of life would also come before the court. They would go about singing some songs or showing control of their arts or speaking in witty ways that would impress the king. The deeper the understanding of world, higher they would have opportunities to be in the good record books of King and his noteworthy people.

Today similar courts are seen in the campus recruitments sometimes at the premises of the organisations, while other times at the institutes. For many years individuals acquire skills in particular area by learning, practicing, training and showcasing what they can do or have been doing. Usually things that one has done is classified as projects and what one can do is classified as dreams. Projects help people be recruited like those in times of courts and be given a job to be done. They must expand their skill to build, create or maintain something in the company and in return they get salary, bonds, house, amenities and shares. As higher their skill and contribution along with their interest to stay in the same kingdom, the greater the returns. They get promoted based on their performance and contribution.

If they lack the projects to showcase what they have done, they may show promise. By speaking in witty ways or showing what their thoughts are they can crack multiple interviews. This is a way to get a chance to be held worthy of something and given the opportunity to prove. So by going through various level of tests, whoever gets to the end receives an offer letter, a written agreement from the king to be paid for their services and their brains.

History has always shaped things slowly in ways that we humans do not see. Our cultures and lifestyles have been tamed in ways that we feel proud of them and we participate with our might, happiness and concrete beliefs. But most likely nothing has changed from the times things used to be the way they were and how things are now.

Certainly we enjoy the flexibility of choosing the temperature in our room, drinking the water purified to the extent we like and store food for days and buy things we like. We possibly feel and do things like a king in the old era couldn’t do, hence the praise live king-size life.

But what we do lack is our position in the entire consensus doesn’t essentially change much. Things improve overall and we get the benefits of it. But we never fully realise our dreams and thoughts. We live within the periphery of the structure that has been bestowed upon us by our choice or circumstances and we capitalize the maximum within that bubble.

Many other beliefs and operations in our life related to our culture, lifestyle and social motto are embedded in us in ways that limit our views. We buy those beliefs and we sell them. We are afterall what we have always been doing. We just try to do things differently. Most things in life along history are fluid and they keep moving in direction of natural flow. We are just small entities within that flow.

Musings : Don’t be selfish, just be human

Don’t be selfish all the time that only thing that you think about is you and your family.

Don’t be selfish so much that the only thing that matters to you is how much wealth you accumulate, even though you know you won’t carry it with you

Don’t be selfish so much that you are ready to steal or grab someone else’s happiness because all that matters to you is your own

Don’t be selfish so much that you take bread from someone else child to satisfy your kids hunger

Don’t be so selfish that you feel everything is about you and that your problems are the biggest in this world

This world works on a principle. Whatever you accumulate doesn’t stay for long. In third or fourth generation it won’t exist at all. Even the good children you have won’t be interested in your wealth nor those bad children won’t let it stay. If you reap selfishness it will come back to you for those who saw you be one all the time will be the same to you, even those for whom you became like that in the first place.

On a broader scale there are some who are struggling for having food on this Earth, some are there in your city or vicinity.

So by closing your eyes and having fun with your friends on a pizza party with drinks and posting on social media about freedom and equality, makes you a hypocrite

You don’t have to give away your life earnings neither you have to give away anything, just make sure you don’t grab something that is not yours nor make any evil plans to make it yours. For in your thoughts and actions, you create a vicious evil cycle, which deprives some of their normal life and puts them into a dreadful situation.

You don’t have to be a philanthropist nor a evangelist. You don’t have to be a volunteer nor you have to be a bread giver. You just have to let them be themselves and give them a fair chance at life. Don’t deprive them of fair chance at education, a fair chance at sports, fair chance to run at the marathon of life. By depriving them of their fundamental right to be able to given a fair chance you make them weak in their thoughts and belief for someone to help them. Your help is not helping them and your selfishness is causing them damage for generations.

So stop being selfish. You don’t have to be an altruist, you just have to be a human. Learn to be a human first and then become successful, famous, rich, happy and charitable.


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You are poor in your thoughts and not by money

Stacking things one over the other. When you are poor or not well off, you often live in houses that are small and made of 1-2 rooms. In such cases you end up using each room for multiple purposes like your living room, bed room and guest rooms are the same place even your study room. So based on the time and arrival of new members the structure of the room is changed to accommodate people or make space for some task.

You may have a small house but you can have big heart. Such rooms are often the size of around 150sqft. They are not even wide enough. In such scenarios you will to be having a habit of organising or moving your things around almost everyday. Stacking your clothes, bed and books becomes a norm. When you have to study you take out all books spread out and study often without a study table. Then when you have to carry on with other work or its night to sleep then you stack all the books and keep it in a corner usually covering with a cloth to avoid dusting. You have 3-4 chairs that are made of plastic which can be stacked on over the other or made of iron or steel that can be folded into flat piece and kept side by side.

Typical Matress in India

Multidimensional house. With the habit of stacking when not in use and pulling out one by one when guests arrive or many people have to sit in chairs, you end up making it your lifestyle. Doing such things over and over again you kind of train yourself to become someone with a stacking habit. In some households when there are people in large numbers then the chairs, they are made of sit down on the mattress made of plastic.

With times things change or do they. Over few decades new generation comes in and wealth is accumulated. Cities transform, houses transform and life is transformed. Now houses are big and you have enough wealth. You have space in each room and there are multiple rooms for each purpose. Some houses have multiple floors, increasing the variety of rooms. But you still end up using the same kind of chairs and end up making people sit in matress. What is more shocking that when you have enough space in the house, yet you end up stacking the chairs.

Plastic Chair

I do it because I was doing it. Similarly you never essentially make any major change in stacking books, clothes or bed. You have some assigned place for keeping things and multiples cupboards or wardrobes to keep things but you never actually get a hold of organising things in their optimum and the purpose of having place for each thing and keeping things in its designated place. You lack the functioning model. Often you end up misplacing things and searching in your rooms.

Your behaviours tell a lot about your inherent thoughts and beliefs. The idea here is not about the chairs, books, matress or stacking. It is about the habits we develop over time and make them our part and parcel of life. Even though people say change is the only constant they don’t seem to complete accept and apply it. We don’t embrace the change completely. We become part of the change willingly or unwillingly but we don’t adapt to the conditions as per how it is and how it is meant to be. This is seen for many things in life and across many classes of life.

You are poor in your thoughts and not by money!

One may have been trained to manage things well. Given a proper environment a child learns and thrives to face things well. Due to the reluctance to embrace situations we often end up confused and tired in dealing with new things. Certain times they make us feel depressed and drained. By consciously choosing to make small changes everyday within us, things that we feel must change, we step towards a smoother healthier life. There can be changes we want to make about our food habits, fitness, career, work style, interiors of household and many other things we come across in our life, sometimes very small while other times very important.

Step up to become the best version of yourself. Always try to embrace things as they are and work towards uplifting yourself, your family and your surroundings. Small changes and efforts when done collectively can introduce a lot of transformation in its true sense. By organising things, decluttering our surroundings and keeping things in their designated place, we free up our mind and surroundings. We develop a sense of freeness and openness. A smooth flow of thoughts without any stack or hustle.

Make small change in you often to bring about a big change in your life.


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Musings : You can choose to be like them or not to be like them

You are surrounded by people of various types in their emotional, mental and ethical mindsets. You are exposed to such varied ideologies, experiences and encounters everyday in your life. You can either become like them or choose to be different.

Early on some of the strongest influencers in your life are your parents and family. You almost become like a replica of them in your behaviour and mannerism. You have your personal identity as you become a combination of various influences and some influence more than the others.

Negativity has some kind of charm that it induces smoothly than anything else.

But as you grow in your life and become adept with language, reading, interactions, communication and commute, you develop certain sense of reasoning and thinking. During this time you are faced with a contradiction of thoughts based on what you face in your everyday life. You go into a state of dilemma with very little things and sometimes very important stuff. Let’s see some encounters that happen frequently and various responses to them based on someones attitude towards it.

Use of foul language. Many families avoid use of foul language in normal circumstances but in grim situations they loose their control and calm. They end up using bad language with abusive words and bad phrases. Often cursing each other in act and notion. Also if such situations are avoided or absent completely, the next challenge that comes up is when a kid is exposed to neighborhood and schools. By coming in face with the people in the surroundings and the kids in the vicinity often some kids mimic them and get influenced strongly. It is often seen that a kid comes home by learning some new word often very foul and demeaning. Negativity has some kind of charm that it induces smoothly than anything else.

You can either be like them or be like yourself.

A choice to make. As the kid is put into certain condition and goes through various moral stories and lessons in life, books and bed stories, he/she is confronted by life with a dilemma of expression. By constant exposure to a certain lifestyle, some may not even realise what is the difference compared to other forms of life. But someday as the kid grows, there comes a point to feel, think and contemplate. Based on previous encounters, personal learnings and exposures there comes a time to formulate a consistent belief system about self and how one would behave in life and circumstances. The kid can make a choice to either incorporate foul language in his everyday use or based on certain groups or try not to use it as much as it is not needed or completely oppose the use of it.

There are many situations in life that are similar to the above mentioned one. We as humans are faced with social, emotional, economical, ethical and moral situations in life. Our default opinion can lean towards what everyone is doing around us or we can contemplate and arrive at a conclusion based on our own thoughts and idealogies which may be similar to the existing situation or completely opposite of it. This can happen in following many traditions and rituals at home, neighborhood, events, occasions and festivals. This can happen at work while working with a group of people on some project. This can happen in neighborhood when deciding certain norms for the colony or when coming together for certain cause, occasion or event. This can happen during travel around the country and world. This can happen when you visit someone’s house. You can either be like them or be like yourself.

Don’t limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.

Rabindranath Tagore

The nexus of superstitions. In every culture there are some stories, rituals, situations and encounters which are with no logical explanation. There might have been some in the past but in the present no one seems to be having any idea about why something is done in a particular fashion and what for exactly. There may be a reasoning about the benefits it brings but there certainly isn’t any relevance on how it will add up. But people face situations, they face difficulties, the go through tough circumstances in life and they see no way out only to be trying whatever options they have. Superstitions are part of our life in one way or the other. Sometimes very grim sometimes very subtle. There are self developed theories by individuals, families, localities, villages and communities. Those which do no harm to anyone are not of a concern as much as those who harm someone and most often a large group of people. The harm is subtle it is not involving any kind of direct pain, but it is a slow poison that becomes a part of their life without them realising the ill-effects of it. When presented with certain superstition, it often comes as a dilemma to either follow it, reason it or oppose it. In such situations you can often choose to be like them or not to be like them.

Everyday is an encounter in the beginning. Other situations like cultural influences, rituals, traditions, economical moves, fashion and lifestyle, choices about education, stay, investment, food choices and many other things are where you can make a choice. You may not be in absolute power to often influence others or bring about a change but you certainly can form your own opinion and focus on transforming your own life.


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