Category Archives: WELLBEING

Don’t escape, embrace instead

Are you at ease with yourself?
Are you travel at a supersonic speed in your mind?
Are you at peace with your past experiences and encounters?

The migrant birds. A lot of us nowadays are not living in the communities they are born and brought up. They go out for education, jobs, marriage or simply for better opportunities and life. In search for something better, smoother and comfortable the land in the city of unknown and from that moment on everything little thing changes.

Battling the inner voices. There are a few souls within the confined boundaries of their life. It might seem they are the lucky ones, but that’s not the case. They are merely lucky for some time, while all the other times they are crushed between the thoughts of flying high, trying to fit it or making a mark. They travel between their thoughts of being in a dreamland vs being at home. They have friends who influence them with fashion, lifestyle, choices, habits and so on which never occurred to them. The TV influences them with the happening around the world. The smart phones have brought the world into their hands and the world they live and love, seems to be slipping out of their hands like sand. They cannot make out the difference between the real world and the comparative world inside their head. Hence they are constantly battling with their thoughts and most of the time they are irritated, frustrated or tired.

Trying to escape but not so good enough. So where ever you are and whatever you have been doing, are their times when you feel lonely, solitude, guilt, pain, anguish, nostalgia or are you stuck in the past at an event you are not able to pin down or have an explanation for. Does that sound like what you feel or what you see your friends feel. What do they do about it.
They watch lot of movies to spend their time?
Do they go on trekking or expeditions?
Do they keep themselves occupied with people all the time?
Are they clingy and argue all the time?

This is what I call as Escape Point.

When someone is not able to make peace with their past or their feelings, whether it be bitter, confused or irritating, they try to find some means to ease or divert their thoughts and they try to find some escape point. It can be different for everyone but the common point is they cannot let of something hence they cling on it which troubles them and so they need to escape from it.

It’s not the other way. And let me clear that is are not applicable the other way. I am not trying to say that everyone who goes on trekking is finding a escape point. There are a lot of them who have a passion for expeditions but few of them are actually trying to find or have actually found their escape point in expeditions.

So are you escaping from something?
Do you close your eyes and you travel at the speed of million miles per hour to run away from something?

Embrace life as it is. Don’t try to escape from the past or a certain experience or event. Try to embrace it. Make it part of your life and eat the fruit. Once you are done with it, you will feel better. It might be real tough during the times you are making sense, but don’t fall pray to the escape point forever. You need to stand on your feet and love for who you are. You are much more within that can be seen from the outside. You can shine within that will enlighten what’s on the outside. You need to be firm in your thoughts and let the universe take the course of what’s not so good.


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Having a bad day ? Going through bad mood ! Try this

Breaking the chain of anger and bad mood.

Beautiful start of the day. Early morning he wakes up and gets ready. He kisses his wife morning, hugs his daughter and eats his breakfast. He takes a ride to office via cab. He wishes good day to the cab driver. He reaches office. He makes his way into the canteen, grabs his coffee and joins morning meeting. Everyone takes note and go back to their desk to complete the assigned work. He joins his colleagues for lunch.

The chain reaction is triggered. Post lunch in a meeting with delegates he is put on spot by his manager and gets a trashing from higher management for incompetency. Since he believed he was not at fault, rage built in him. He went to grab a coffee at canteen. He was mad at the server for the coffee seemed cold. He went to complete his work and found some pending work with his colleague, so he ran into an argument regarding that. Further during evening meeting with his subordinates he was picking everyone for their mistakes and scolding unnecessarily for no apparent reason. Wrapping for the day, he catches a cab towards home.

How it spreads during the day. The cab driver doesn’t accept card and doesn’t find any change with him. He fights with the cab driver and abuses him. He enters home and finds his daughter playing on ground. He scolds her for playing in dirt and shouts at his wife. She tries to cool him down but instead they find that he has forgotten to bring eggs for dinner. They manage something for dinner. He gets into an argument with the neighbors for loud noise from TV. He scolds his parents over phone for not taking care of them. He doesn’t meet his friends for late evening walk.

Day ends in a bad mood. He is in bed. His day has gone from beautiful start to a tiresome dreadful night.

Looking back at how it all started. By continuing with the experience of meeting over the day, he ran into multiple encounters which kept worsening as his outlook, energy and mood detoriated over the day. He kept on flowing that anger onto other persons, who in turn based on their own emotional level get angry on others. Early morning managers wife made a burnt sandwich, which got worse for him by a flat tire in his car, unable to find a ride for an hour and so on.

Negative emotions are our enemies. Everyday we all spread different emotions around us based on our encounters. Most often that not, when triggered by some negative emotions, we drag it for the entire day or sometimes for whole week depending upon it’s gravity. In process we hurt some people along the way, some whom we love and care for. We get hurt or upset on our own. Things might not be so worse often but even a spur of moment and anger bursts out like anything. By words or our actions we cannot undo, we create a scene. This amplifies certain times.

Shifting the flow of thoughts and emotions. We cannot choose what happens to us every moment. We are humans. We react to things. But we can improve. We can choose to observe what is happening around us. We can train ourselves to become more observant and calm. When we notice how our emotions are shifting over the day, we can tell ourselves what went wrong. If we can develop the habit of consolidating actions over the day and identify where things could have been damped down. We can train to respond in a more calm fashion.

Practicing to respond and being mindful. By frequently choosing to respond instead of reacting to situations and events during the day, we can make our normal response model to be a more generic, joyful and cautious one. By practising mindfulness in small things we can become calm, cheerful, delightful person over the day, over the week and when continued for years, it becomes over inherent nature to be mindful, calm and less angry.

Lessons learned. By breaking the chain of thoughts, encounters and events over the day, we help ourselves from experiencing prolonged negative emotions as well as assist in curbing the spread to people around us especially our loved ones.


Upcoming posts

Breaking the chain of corona-virus
Breakings the chain of tightly-coupled system

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How to fight your battles alone !

ILLUMINATION AMIDST DARKNESS

A time comes in everybody’s life when they have to face things alone. It is the time when one has to develop oneself to fight for the rest of the life in the best way possible. It shows the person, real way of living. It is where you find yourself. You come to know what you are. And that time creates an illumination in your life.

The darkest hour is just before the dawn.

Thomas Fuller

It’s the time not go get frustrated nor its the time to wait for someone to come and do things. In fact it is that time to take charge and complete the tasks.